East Van Milan

Apparently, Milan Lucic does not like pretending to be gracious in a post series handshake lineup. Rumour has it that East Van Milan had a few choice words for Montreal Canadiens forward Dale Weise and defenceman Alexei Emelin. According to Weise and several reporters, Lucic threatened to go all Solange on them next year. From Bruce Arthur:

What a peach and a perfect cherry to top a great series. These two teams hate each other more than people on Twitter hate wearing pants at home. But can we really be surprised at Milan’s actions? At this point in his career he’s being defined by poor behavior on and off the ice.

It’s not his fault. I don’t expect anything less from a mouth breathing, knuckle dragger. This graphic proves it’s in his DNA.

Milan-evolution copy


Jacob “Milk Carton” Markstrom

Saw this in the super market today. Maybe we can help the Canucks and Torts finds this guy. We did trade a future Hall-of-Famer for him.

Missing-Milk-Carton-psd53543 copy

At this point, the Canucks are setting this guy up for a huge let down. This kid is a super prospect who may actually be higher than Eddie Lack on the Swedish goalie pecking order.

I somewhat understand Torts’ belief that we have to ride Eddie if we want to make the playoffs but that dream realistically died 2 months ago. I also understand Torts’ wants to see if Lack can handle the load of a Number 1. I think it’s safe to say he’s done that. Ultimately, it’ll be someone other than Torts who makes the call come next October as I suspect he’ll be fired at the end of this season.

It’s now time to see what kind of ROI the Canucks received for their former franchise goalie. On the other hand with the way the Canucks have been playing, putting him in now may warrant a visit from Amnesty International.

Eddie Lack gives advice to Jacob Markstrom

Occasionally, I hit a tweet out of the park. After patting myself on the back, I usually wait for the inevitable Twitter love and 99% of the time…crickets. Today was not one of those days.

That display of my poor Photoshopping skills and sense of humour was retweeted immediately by @passittobulis then an hour later by @vancitybuzz. Their influence, to quote Ilya Bryzgalov is, “humongous big”. Soon I was trending in Vancouver

To give you an idea of the power of influential followers, I tweeted out a part 2 of Lack and Markstrom’s locker room discussion and I got 3 retweets.

I thought this one was a better joke but the @passittobulis folks thought differently

Who am I to question the masters. Damn good advice too.

This is the 5th time (who’s counting) I’ve trended in Vancouver. Trust me, it never gets old. Plus it allows me tell my daughters that their Daddy is famous on the internets. Which is always met with eye rolls!

Now I wait for the money to pour in. I think that’s how social media works.

P.S. Now I know why people hate manual retweets!

Recap: Canucks vs. Blues – February 26, 2014

For 51 minutes of last night’s game:

Not Ken Hitchcock sleeping.

Not Ken Hitchcock sleeping.

Then Hansen scored to make it make it 1-0 and I accidentally rhymed this:

Even though the game was Joan Rivers ugly, the Canucks shutout one of the top teams in the NHL and broke a horrible losing streak. Eddie Lack has been a revelation this year. His enormous size belies his quickness and fluid technique. Lack’s movement in the butterfly is so smooth. Very little movement is wasted and he is usually in a perfect blocking position while in it. The kid has put in the work this year and it has paid off. Looks like the Canucks are back to a 1 and 1A goalie situation.

While not a work of art, wins are paramount, ugly or otherwise at this time of year. The days of Sedin-ary are pretty much in the Canuck’s rear view mirror so get used to extra greasy wins.  When the best pass of the night was a no-looker from Tom “Enough cement in my Hands to build a Skyscraper” Sestito, you just know that this will be a difficult stretch run for the Vancouver Canucks. If they hope to sneak into a playoff position Lu and Lack will have to play lights out as scoring goals may be harder than convincing my parents that it’s ok not to reuse plastic restaurant take-out containers.

That Alex Edler GIF tho: